I in no way regard myself as a relationship expert or guru. However, being a man for over 30yrs I feel like I am somewhat of an expert on men, and how we think and feel. I recently have been asked for advice from many of my friends on how to make their relationships better and more successful, or at the very least, less dysfunctional. After a while I started noticing a few common words of advice kept repeating. Here are a few gems that are simple and easy ways to help keep your man happy.
1.Telling Him He Looks Handsome
Men, especially black men, are often expected to exude confidence- that’s probably one of the reasons you were attracted to him in the first place. Believe it or not we do not always feel as confident as we portray. Giving him a simple compliment every now and again can go a long way for boosting his confidence and also reassures him that you still find yourself attracted to him. A genuine compliment is appreciated by everyone, regardless of their gender or success.
2. Planning a Date Night
I am all for the old fashioned idea that the man should plan the first date (and I mean more than Netflix and chill). I also believe the man should pick up at least the first few bills if he is able to. Down the road however, it is a nice surprise for him to have an entire evening set up that he didn’t have to plan and be creative to put together. It’s not about the activities that you do, it’s about letting him know that you value him enough to take the time and effort to think of a creative way to spend a night specifically for him.
3. Supporting Him and His Goals
A little encouragement can go a long way. From the time we are on the middle school playground, 99% of what men do somehow ties back to trying to impress the girl (whether we realize it or not). Being that rock he can lean on and rely on can be vital to him realizing his goals. Sometimes he needs you to believe in him even when he doesn’t believe in himself. You would be amazed the things a man can achieve when he has the strength of his queen in his corner.
4. Respect Him (especially in public)
I am sure you have all heard of the “Golden Rule”: Do onto others as you would have them do onto you. This may seem pretty basic and obvious but one of the biggest problems I see far too often is people disrespecting their significant other publicly; and speaking from the male point of view, it can be very emasculating. No one is saying you cannot or should not disagree with your man, however domestic disagreements should be handled behind closed doors. Respect him as a man and he will respect you as a woman.
5. Giving Him Man Time
As much as we love spending time with you, sometimes we need a little time with the boys. So give him his once a week recreational soccer Sunday (aka beers with the fellas). Or let him have his Thursday night drop in basketball (aka beers with the fellas). Bottom line, if your man has 1 day a week set aside for sports or just general male bonding, give him that time without stressing him or laying a guilt trip. He will appreciate the freedom without having to make up excuses to give you and in turn value the time he spends with you even more.
Sound off! What are your tips to keep your man happy and your relationship drama free and happy??