When it comes to building and sustaining positive relationships most of us would say that trust is one of the core requirements needed for success. So when it comes to creating and keeping harmony in our relationships, never underestimate the power of consistency.
Lack of consistency can straight up kill a relationship. When I first met my previous relationship, my guy was sweet and funny and understanding and loving. I thought "Lordt! I have hit the jackpot!". But a few months in that is when things began to change. His attitude changed to not one of understanding and care but rather short-tempered and hostile. His word held about as much worth as a penny. Regular texts and daily phone calls trickled; he stopped doing and saying the sweet things that it took to catch me.
While we remained together for some time because by then feelings had become involved, that lack of consistency was an ever eroding cancer on our relationship. It caused me to not trust him and jump on him for anything that even hinted as an excuse or pending disappointment.
Similarly we as women often do things at the beginning of a relationship to get our man and then slowly fade them out. Surprising him with how "adventurous" we are, cooking for him regularly and making ourselves appear to live only to cater to him. Mr Man probably assumes he too has hit the jackpot and slowly but surely we stop doing the things it took to snag him.
In all our relationships the key is to remain consistent. While we may not be as pressed to put in the same effort or do the same things we did at the very beginning when we are all on our best behavior, we should not portray ourselves as someone we completely are not. That is impossible to maintain!
So here are a few key pointers to help you remain consistent in your relationships:
- Don't start your relationship pretending you love something that you really don't. Be it a certain food, activity or TV show, keep in mind that if your relationship works out, and you start pulling away or having an issue with something you previously claimed to love, your partner will feel deceived
- Don't start your relationship off on a level you cannot maintain. A dozen roses being delivered every week, 7 course meal every Sunday, acrobatic morning sex daily..if this isn't you, don't raise the bar to a level that will cause disappointment when it is removed!
- Don't get so comfortable you take your partner for granted. Yes it is a fantastic feeling to know our significant other loves us, is loyal to us and will be by our side through thick and thin...but that does not let us off the hook from making an effort to continue to "woo" them even after they are ours
- Do what you say you are going to do. Something as simple as failing to call when you say you will or cancelling every other date can begin to breed distrust in the bond you are forming.
Just remember: inconsistency erodes trust and without trust there is nothing. Being reliable, trustworthy and consistent is not boring and any man or woman worthy of your time will appreciate these qualities in you.